Gay Apparel Discussion Questions

Happy No-Longer Holiday Season, fellow guys, gals, and nonbinary pals!

Let’s celebrate the season — on your schedule — with this adorable collection of holiday gayness, an advent calendar of fiction. While it’s not December 1, I am going to still go ahead and treat these as one story a day, finishing up on ‘Christmas Eve’. However, you should feel free to read them however you want! All at once, weekly, whatever works for you! Tis the Season and we all deserve something nice for making it through another year!

If you don’t have a copy you can get it during Fyeah Asexual’s Mental Health fundraiser event!

December 1: Mistlebro by Amy Michelle (that’s me!)

-Can you relate to Drew or Josh in this story? Was there ever a time you were nervous around a crush? 

-How are the holidays a time for hope and romance?

-Have you ever kissed under a mistletoe? 

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 2: Oh Night Divine by Anna Kersing

-Music and theater are an important holiday tradition for many people. What are your experiences with holiday theater productions and music?

-What are your favorite Christmas songs? If not Christmas, other holiday songs?

-Can you relate with Kari? Was there ever a time you were nervous at an audition?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 3: How Very Un-Persephone by Rachel Sharp

-Can you relate with Rory? Can you share any coming out stories that really resonated with you?

-Do you enjoy wearing Christmas sweaters? What are some Christmas traditions you enjoy?

-What traditions do your family have for the holidays? How have you or others changed them or turned them on their heads?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 4: Free Wheat by Ether Nepenthes

-Are there any religious traditions you follow during the holiday season? What significance to they have? How about secular traditions?

-Can you relate to Nuage at all? Any routines you follow?

-Are you a plant parent? Share some plant parenting wins! Or, if you have fur babies or baby-babies, share those wins too!

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 5: Invite a Creature by Minerva Cerridwen

-Are there any people that you want to buy gifts for but have difficulty with? 

-Can you relate to Yuna or Meredith at all? What do you do for your loved ones who have everything?

-What mythical pet would you want to own if you could own any? Why?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 6: Timing by Adam P. Knave

-Can you relate with Tom or Chris? Have you ever been nervous hosting a holiday party or attending one?

-Family is a big part of the holidays. What role does your family play? 

-How does this story show how complicated love and family can be? But also how they can grow and change?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 7: Long Night by Kari Dru

-How do snowy days and late nights make you feel?

-What would you do if you experienced a guest like Dylan’s?

-Have you ever met an animal or a person that entered your life and stayed there unexpectedly? What do you provide for each other?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 8: Stealth Gifts by Maya Lynn-Johnstone

-Have you ever gone to a holiday event with someone else with different traditions? How did you adapt? Did you borrow any traditions for your own?

-Can you relate with Tylore? Cog?

-How can you blend different family traditions?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 9: (If You Want It) by HE Graham

-How does a story in second person point of view change how you read it? What do you think about second person point of view?

-Can you relate to the main character?

-How are the holidays a good time to reconnect with people and reach out?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 10: The Rigs of the Time by Jeannelle M. Ferreira

-Have you ever had someone teach you cooking or other festive traditions? What did you find most valuable?

-How are the lessons and morals of holidays adaptable to modern life? Do you take comfort in the origins of your holidays? What lessons do you appreciate each holiday season?

-What are some of your favorite holiday foods? Share recipes if you have them!

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 11: A Solstice Date On Chanukah by Xan West

-Can you relate to Violet at all? How do you feel about giving (and receiving) gifts?

-What is your love language? Your friends’? Partner’s? How do you make them all work together?

-How do you balance the expectations of spending time with people with your own needs during the holidays?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 12: Legible Holiday Card, Jaz Twersky

-Do you send holiday cards? Do you enjoy receiving them?

-Why is recognition important?

-Do you have any memories with loved ones you are reminded of by certain places?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 13: Another Unnecessary Reimagining of A Christmas Carol by Jennifer Lee Rossman

-What is your favorite retelling of A Christmas Carol?

-What would the Christmas ghosts look like for you? What do you think they would show you?

-How does this story show that it’s never too late to start new traditions? Do you think you can always reach back out to people from your past?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 14: Sunbound by Ava Kelly

-What hopes do you have for the future?

-How do you think holidays might grow, change, and evolve going forward? What new holidays would you want to celebrate?

-What might life look like outside of our solar system?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 15: Bakhor’s Good Day by Ashe Armstrong

-How do families share traditions with each other?

-What new traditions can you think of for the solstice? Why might celebrating those days be important to all sorts of different cultures?

-What are your thoughts on this story’s universe?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 16: Festive Flannel by Zoe Brook

-How do friends help make the holidays better?

-Can you relate to Ella or Zion? How so? What does holiday nostalgia feel like for you?

-Do you have any holiday traditions with friends?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 17: Solstice by L.S. Reinholt

-How are many traditions for different holidays so similar? 

-Can you relate to Lisbeth or Maiken? Have you ever planned something as a surprise during a holiday celebration?

-How can religious or spiritual communities bring people together, especially during holidays?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 18: By the Chimney With Care by Rose Sinclair

-Can you relate to the main character? Have you ever been on a Quest for something important?

-How can you combine traditions when you form a new household? Do you have any traditions you’ve started in a new household?

-Have you ever had any issues finding your name on a stocking or other item? What do you do if so? 

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 19: Holly and Ivy by Claire Monserrat Jackson

-What would you do if an angel fell in front of you?

-How can you balance bad holiday memories with good ones? 

-What fantasy tropes are you especially fond of?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 20: Good Harvest by Iris Sword

-How do you think holiday traditions will continue in the future? If human beings end up off planet? What traditions would you want to see continued?

-What is most important for you in giving a gift? Receiving one?

-What are your favorite things to do during the holidays with your loved ones?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 21: As the Shadow Approaches by Nicole Field

-What does belonging feel like to you?

-How do celebrations and rituals bring people closer together? Bring people peace?

-What do you think you might like to meet while in a trance? What do you think you might experience?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 22: Hoodie for the Holidays by Caitlin A. Greer

-What are your opinions on snow? How does a fresh snowfall make you feel?

-Can you relate to Erin or Riley? Do you have something from a significant other that you treasure?

-How do our actions show love just as much as our words?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 23: This Christmas by John Lopez

-How can friends make your holidays more full? Do you do anything with your friends for the holidays?

-Why do you think important moments happen around the holidays? Do you have any important memories from holiday get-togethers? 

-How important is friendship in growing a romantic relationship to you?

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

December 24: Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends by Carl Lavigne

-Have you ever had a New Year’s kiss? Is there anyone you’d want to have one with?

-What significance does a New Year’s kiss have for many people? 

-How does a new year signify a new beginning? How does the new year make you “nostalgic for what hasn’t even happened yet?”

-Share your thoughts and opinions on this story!

Trans Books Recs for Awareness Week!

My mom actually reminded me of this week, which is quite wholesome.  Since GLADD is celebrating trans awareness as well as TDOR this year, I wanted to do one of my fav things — and talk about trans books. This post is about my fav trans books so if you are in the mood for a new read I hope this helps. 🙂 

All Time Favorite In Trans Book: 

Dreadnought (and it’s sequel) has not only the own voices quality when it comes to trans representation being included, but the plot is too intertwined with the experiences of being trans and being a part — or pushed — out of a community. 

Runner Up In Fav Trans Books:

If I Was Your Girl is the winner of a Stonewall Book Award and several others. This contemporary book has a lot of heart. While I don’t remember it’s plot as in detail as the last I remember feeling like it was a gift. Insight to a “less complicated” (as I believe the author says in the back) trans experience I do not share. This book probably has the only acknowledgments that I remember afterwards. That were incredibly important to include because they reminds us that real people are always more complicated and diverse.  

Trans Books Honorable Mentions: 

Okay, and maybe some mixed media because it can’t be about books 24/7.

Did you know in Watch Dogs Legion you can just find trans aces walking around doing their things? That is until you ask them to fight against a police state. Watch Dogs Legion’s representation is at one level so throw away text based. And at another an innovative choose your own adventure hero experience. I get a spark of joy when I see a random character with bio that reads: ‘Had Gender Affirming Operation’, “Looked for Trans Friendly Therapy” or “Purchased a They/Them Pin”. It’s not Ubisoft’s first trans character, but the random endless amount of trans playable non-playable characters in WD:L reminds me how just anyone can be trans.

There’s Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver and Rose Sinclair’s books that both always seem to include ace and transgender characters. (If not trans ace character within them.) There’s Unburied Fables which is a-spec focused charity anthology with several fairytale retelling that are about trans characters. And I wish more of Anne Chivon’s poetry was in print so I could show you really kick ass non-binary poems.

That fact that big and small trans awareness efforts are being done across the media landscape (including emoji now) makes me so hopeful that people will someday soon stop pretending that there’s not enough of us to matter.

Did you know the creator of the transgender flag Monica Helms also wrote novels? I haven’t read any of them, I just think that’s so cool and fantastic. That might be since the top the listed reasoning for making the trans flag’s stripes mirrored was so no matter how you fly the flag it’s still right. Symbolizing that there is no one way to be trans. Sorry for the longer post than planned but say can I say: Trans is beautiful

Trans Awareness Week Book Recs!

My mom actually reminded me of this week, which is quite wholesome.  Since GLADD is celebrating trans awareness as well as TDOR this year, I wanted to do one of my fav things — and talk about books. This post is about my fav trans books so if you are in the mood for a new read I hope this helps. 🙂 

All Time Favorite: 

Dreadnought (and it’s sequel) has not only the own voices quality when it comes to trans representation being included, but the plot is too intertwined with the experiences of being trans and being a part — or pushed — out of a community. 

Runner Up:

If I Was Your Girl is the winner of a Stonewall Book Award and several others. This contemporary book has a lot of heart, and while I don’t remember it’s plot as in detail as the last I remember feeling like it was a gift in a way. Insight to a very ‘less complicated” (as I believe the author says in the back) trans experience I do not share. This book probably has the only acknowledgments that I remember that are incredibly important to include because they take that “less complicated” narrative and reminds us that non-fictional people are so complicated and diverse.  

Mixed Format Honorable Mentions: 

Did you know in Watch Dogs Legion you can just find trans aces walking around doing their things, until you ask them to fight against a police state? Watch Dogs Legion’s representation is at one level so throw away text based and at another an innovative clever choose your own adventure hero experience. I just get this little spark of joy when I see a random character and the bio is like ‘Had Gender Affirming Operation’, “Looked for Trans Friendly Therapy” or “Purchased a They/Them Pin”. It’s not Ubisoft’s first trans character but the random endless amount of trans playable non-playable characters in WD:L reminds me how just anyone can be trans and that’s beautiful to me. 

There’s Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver and my books that both always seem to include ace and transgender characters if not trans ace character within them. There’s Unburied Fables which is a-spec focused charity anthology with several fairytale retelling that are about trans characters. And I wish more of Anne Chivon’s poetry was in print so I could show you really kick ass nonbinary poems.


That fact that big and small trans awareness efforts are being done across the media landscape (including emoji now) makes me so hopeful that people will hopefully someday soon stop pretending that there’s not enough of us to matter.

Did you know the creator of the transgender flag Monica Helms also wrote novels? I haven’t read any of them, I just think that’s so cool and fantastic. I think I haven’t read them because nothing will top the listed reasoning for making the trans flag’s stripes mirrored so that no matter how you fly it the flag is still right symbolizing that there is no one way to be trans. Sorry for the longer post than planned but say can I say — Trans is beautiful. 

Suicide By Ghost Is Free For The First Time!

🍁 If you signed up for GreatAce.Club you can find this book in your in box right now! If you haven’t, you can still download the ebook for free today only!

★★★★★ Found Family Warmth

Content / Spoiler Warning: There is no suicide in the book, but there is frank discussion of trans / homophobia and by the end the novella left me with feelings of optimism, and hope. (Full Review)

About The Book: Spiritually divorced from the church, former exorcist Ryan Macy is finding his own path as a ghost hunter. Traveling with only what can fit in his trusty truck, he road trips around America trying to prove the paranormal.

When he’s called to a church to investigate a demon possession, what he finds is unexpected and, perhaps, just as divinely in need: A seventeen-year-old kid named Andrew. Ryan is certain something evil lives within the house: home-grown hate. Kicked out for being gay, Andrew hitches a ride and joins the ghost hunting team. But something is following them…

Free On Amazon Today Only!

Press Start Release Day!!

I’m so excited to bring you my cute book full of queer people having fun and being silly!!

If you preordered the ebook, unfortunately you’ll have to order it again do to an amazon error. But everything is good to go now for both ebook and paperback versions on Amazon or GreatAce.Club!

Haven’t heard about Press Start? Now is a great time for this fun, low stress read about a group of friends bonding over video games.

Blurb: A new app has turned the whole world into an augmented playground. By reinventing retro party games, HoloHeroes makes sure it has something for every player. However, Loren worries she’s been missing out. The death of her father and a move across the country makes it feel as though she has to start life over. As a sweet sixteen gift, Loren’s given Ghost Glasses, allowing her to be her own HoloHero. Local meetups serve as a jumping-off point to make new friends, find herself, and win cash prizes. But what started as casual fun turns into an accidental rivalry with a veteran champion of the game and a race towards the national stage.

So are you ready to —

Press Start – YA Book Trailer

Woo! In an effort to celebrate things in these times I have a happy to show off the trailer today! The book is out May 5th and you can preorder the ebook  now!

Cool things about this book:

  • Demigirl lead
  • Demisexual love interest
  • Low stakes equal a low stress fun read
  • Own voices on multiple fronts
  • Party game fun in a book

Blurb: A new app has turned the whole world into an augmented playground. By reinventing retro party games, HoloHeroes makes sure it has something for every player. However, Loren worries she’s been missing out. The death of her father and a move across the country makes it feel as though she has to start life over. As a sweet sixteen gift, Loren’s given Ghost Glasses, allowing her to be her own HoloHero. Local meetups serve as a jumping-off point to make new friends, find herself, and win cash prizes. But what started as casual fun turns into an accidental rivalry with a veteran champion of the game and a race towards the national stage.

My Rainbow Community, ‘Tis of Thee

I wish I could quickly explain that rainbow community “spaces” are not geological territories based on land. The idea that queer people will abuse each other over this concept of a club that has no physical barriers is mine numbingly incorrect.

This dream of fully protecting a community from outsiders that would do it harm is a false one. “I want the rainbow community safe from people who have a privilege” is noble, but flawed.

We don’t kick cis people out because there’s trans people in the community. Nor do we kick white people out because there’s people of color in the community. We don’t kick abled people out because they’re disabled people in the community.

And this idea that we can even kick people out, at all, is a false one. Our communities are multiple communities, ranging in physical location, online platforms, and the idea of human categorization itself.

You can keep your interactions with the people you deal with as safe as you believe. Measured by whatever metric you believe in. But it is impossible to wholesale protect the community from all harm because you are not all knowing, all present, or responsible for anyone besides yourself.

Exclusion does not only fail because asexual‘s are inherently targeted by hetronormality. Exclusion fails because we are not one community, but the many. Liberation is not won on a single front. We are, and it is, endless.

You can no more protect the rainbow community and the people with in it from harm than a parent can protect their child from harm.

All you can do is be a loving environment in yourself and teach what you know so your child may protect themselves with or without your presence.

We never should never fool ourselves into thinking this is a country. There’s no authority, we are all equal, and while that makes organization harder at times it’s a constant reminder of all own worth.

Be sure to read more about asexual activism on our blog.

My Community, ‘Tis of Thee

I wish I could quickly explain that “community spaces” are not geological territories based on land. The idea that queer people will abuse each other over this concept of a club that has no physical barriers is mine numbingly incorrect.

This dream of fully protecting a community from outsiders that would do it harm is a false one. “I want the lgbtq community safe from people who have a privilege” is nobel, but flawed.

We don’t kick cis people out because there’s trans people in the community. We don’t kick white people out because there’s people of color in the community. We don’t kick abled people out because they’re disabled people in the community.

And this idea that we can even kick people out, at all, is a false one. Our communities are multiple communities, ranging in physical location, online platforms, and the idea of human categorization itself.

You can keep your interactions with the people you deal with as safe as you believe. Measured by whatever metric you believe in. But it is impossible to wholesale protect the community from all harm because you are not all knowing, all present, or responsible for anyone besides yourself.

Exclusion does not only fail because asexual‘s are inherently targeted by hetronormality. Exclusion fails because we are not one community, but the many. Liberation is not won on a single front. We are, and it is, endless.

You can no more protect the community and the people with in it from harm than a parent can protect their child from harm. All you can do is be a loving environment in yourself and teach what you know so your child may protect themselves with or without your presence.

We never should never fool ourselves into thinking this is a country. There’s no authority, we are all equal, and while that makes organization harder at times it’s a constant reminder of all own worth.

#BelieveAces Part 3: On abuse and asexuality

Let’s talk about abuse and asexuality and gender for my final thoughts for the #BelieveAces series.

I was talking with someone the other day, and we were having a very frank conversation about asexuality and the the abuse we faced in life. Awful things that got us targeted because we were both asexual. And this person kept saying things like, “you’re a girl, you get it”. A bunch of times. And this article holds no ill will or blame because I didn’t correct them for it. For a curious reason I’d like to explain.

Now this is based on my personal interactions with cis women. Trans people have every right to completely halt a conversation until they are properly seen. For me, I’ll sometimes allow it because these situations always show my ever fraying connection to “womanhood”, whatever that means. And makes me realize that whatever it does mean, I don’t feel it in such a literal way.

Interactions where I can nod along and agree to “I was targeted by men because I am asexual.” Are common. Let me say that first. They are so jarringly common that opening our ask box can be triggering. But the point I want to make is times when I am able to nod along, and say this is shared abuse because we were seen as women who were unavailable. That’s really the only connection to womanhood I do feel. But trauma bonding is not gender.

Bigots excuse abuse and asexuality as something else.

Sometimes abuse faced by asexuals is dismissed simply the abuse of women. A wildly dismissive thing because multiple genders are ignored. My ability to say “Being asexual made me a target” is honestly the only detail I like sharing. And by hearing cis women say the same thing is validating in a way. I get told often that any aggression I face is misdirected. But by listening to others stories reaffirms my own ability to clearly describe my own experiences and what caused it.

As a society we don’t listen to abuse victims, and when it comes to aces even less so. Same with trans stories. Because identity is treated as an excuse for detractors, not a factor. My assumed in-availability towards sexually entitled men connects me to women, and connects me to lesbians, and connects me to aces of all genders. 

While we all should be more aware not to assume gender of those we are talking too, I don’t really find this empathic reaction as a complete failure. Instead it should be a reminder that we are all people. All living in this society that only views us as binary and straight. 

– Roses from a digital typewriter
Be sure to share this series with anyone who might need to hear it.